I forget what time of the night I was born but in the legal sense 12am today began my fortieth year. November 17 begins at 12AM so that settles that where the law is concerned.

I guess I overdid the sweets or didn't snack often enough yesterday when I said I felt rotten. My boss's dad brought in some cookies that are as decadent as a slice of birthday cake. Combine that with grape Kool-Aid (bought for 2.00 per jar at Big Lots) and you have me eating like a puny kid again. There is no doubt I am facing my parents' mortality in seeing them get sicker and more infirm.

I am having to make a few sacrifices in not going out and hitting the stores and restaurants whenever I please. Nor do I do much night fishing anymore. I am trying to find a job that affords me an hour or two travel distance between here and wherever the job is. I will have to find another place to live under this scenario.

Not that I haven't done fun things. I have been helping find airchecks for the producer at pawfilmworks.com so he can work on his website for a long-closed mall in Chicago. Some time ago I saw a web site for a recently closed mall and tried to revisit it. It was in New Jersey or a nearby state. That was when I bumped into Dixie Square Mall.

This mall near Chicago opened in November 1966 and closed that month in 1978. Months later it was used by Universal to film the mall chase in "The Blues Brothers." It seems the mall's closure in a rapidly-deteriorating town had a silver lining for John Landis, the movie's producer. The video snippits and pictures of the abandoned mall are a surrealistic view of something similar to ancient catacombs.

I did one call-canvassing session and a letter to the editor for Mac Collins, who ran for Congress. He may or may not pay for a recount but the state's secretary of state gave the election to his opponent, Jim Marshall. I saw my party ruin their chances to retain power nationally. Not that Iraq would have been a flash in the pan but Americans want to see tangible progress. A war kept Lyndon Johnson out of the White House although Johnson exhibited much more ineptitude than Bush.

These days I have gone to bed early though I have still been a little more tardy at work than I should be. Why don't I get quality sleep and why do I feel tired even after nine or ten hours?

I will ask my doctor about Cymbalta or a higher dosage of Zoloft. I don't want to monkey around with the Buspar. I only occasionally take the morning dose of Buspar. My head feels like it is in a fog when I am on Zoloft and the Buspar seems to be making it a little more noticeable. I haven't had the reality of turning 40 sink in quite yet.